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Bad Victim

by Porch Cat

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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 18 Porch Cat releases available on Bandcamp.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Helena (My Chemical Romance Cover), I LOVE Y'ALL [A Folk Punk Cover Album], Broken Body (Demo), In The Garden I Will Learn To Grow (Demo), Time of Year, 2019 Demos, 500 Days of Bummer (Unreleased Songs from 2019), DEATH AS A WOMAN, and 10 more. , and , .

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1.
I don't know why, I'm gonna cry I've been living a goddamn lies If you weren't there, I would have tried But it's too quiet to sing about Anxiety's a variety Of constant sparks of rioting And sudden is the quieting But it's to dark to sing about Sugar pills, script refills Lately I've been writing wills I've gotten over many hills But it's too heavy to sing about La la la La la la Ahhhh Ooooh But it's too quiet to sing about But it's too dark to sing about But it's too heavy to sing about La la la La la la La la la la Ooooh But it's too quiet to sing about
2.
The Drive 05:18
Someday I'll come home Someday I'll come home I don't know when but I'll make it there again I'll come home We've been painting our walls Painting our walls Cause the winter time will come and the colors will have gone but they're on our walls I've been singing for the drive I'll be trying to make it out alive I just want to run I just want to run I don't know how but I'll start running right now I want to run I've been praying, you know Praying, oh no With my hands clenched into fists I've been writing holy lists Oh no I've been singing for the drive I've been trying to make it out alive I've been singing for the drive I'll be trying to make it out alive
3.
Narcolepsy 03:48
When I'm walking I feel like I'm falling I do all I can do to keep from falling I've been getting to sleep by losing days I find that this is just one of my old ways My brain is moving too fast in my head But when it's time to get up, I stay in bed Light comes through my window every morning But when I unclench my chest it gets to storming I'm grinding my teeth on the ways in which I dream And I can't speak in the ways in which I mean There is starlight like water in my eyes When I wake up from sleep I rub my eyes I feel myself leave from my body But I don't see it at all I see nobody I'm grinding my teeth on the ways in which I dream And I can't speak in the ways in which I mean When I'm walking I feel like I'm falling I do all I can do to keep from falling I've been getting to sleep by losing days I find that this is just one of my old ways I'm grinding my teeth I'm grinding my teeth I'm grinding my teeth I'm grinding my teeth
4.
Safer Spaces 01:55
I remember things I don't need And I forget the most important things So when you're asking for proof from me Remember that I wasn't really there I'm too scared to say I might break Go ahead and tell me these spaces are safe Emma carried her mattress across her campus She was brave enough to hold it up in protest And I can't even go back to classes Even though nothing happened on those red bricks And I'm too scared to say I might break Go and ahead and tell me these spaces are safe And I'm too scared to take back the night And I'm too scared stand up and fight I know it's hard to see it go by laying in your bed I know there's something in your mind that would rather see you dead I'm sorry I'm not doing much more than just trying to survive But if I can make it through this maybe someone else will try to stay alive (ps: i'm going back to campus!)
5.
Bad Victim 03:30
Take it in stride, where is your pride? A monster stole it while I was trying to hide In the temple I built where the insides are gray But the flowers laid out invite you to stay So I've been planting thorns in my garden To hold my power, I have to begin I don't mind writing poems, in photo form It's the action I take, it's the change that I've sworn We suffer in anger, we claw and we bite We're silent through tearfall but not without fight I seem to keep cycling through the bad things I've done For I am not pure, I'm the bad victim I am with myself, it's all I can do I'm reminding myself that I'm stronger than you I seem to keep cycling through the bad things I've done For I am not pure, I'm the bad victim Tell them I'm crazy, I'll tell them you're right Crazy you made me cause you made me fight The record you played, your idea of fun I've made it this far as the bad victim I seem to keep cycling through the bad things I've done For I am not pure, I'm the bad victim
6.
Cry In Bed 04:52
Well there’s nothing like getting a phone call From the lady who gives you the food stamps Saying that you could have just done something better If freedom is what we make of it Then why is there still so much shit You’d think people would want something better Sometimes I just cry in bed Oh sometimes I don’t know what’s wrong with my head Sometimes I just cry in bed Oh sometimes I don’t know where is safe to go And worthlessness takes too much time And energy and peace of mind I know that I could be some place better Just look at it for what it is A fucked up world where it’s hard to live I WISH THAT I COULD MAKE IT BETTER Sometimes I just cry in bed Oh sometimes I don’t know what’s wrong with my head Sometimes I just cry in bed Oh sometimes I don’t know where is safe to go Breathing is important too, Oh, I wish that I could tell you Breathing is important too, We're not alone and we're not few
7.
Wild West 03:56
They say they'll go down to Mexico When they get caught for their crimes But the white of their skin will give them this They'll live to serve their time Cause the wild west is not like your dreams And our progress is not what it seems They say they'll north to Canada When our ruler takes his claim While native women go missing on both sides Cause everything's the same Cause the wild west is not like your dreams And our progress is not what it seems The cowboy sings a lonesome song They said he was a white knight but they were wrong Countless killed in femicide Unearth the bodies they thought they could hide They say they'll go down to Mexico If we poison the water who will die?
8.
It's The Way 04:02
Well I look both ways when I cross the street To make sure that you haven't found me But if you showed up I think I'd smash your teeth For the effort you went to to find me The shame I felt from the pain you caused You promised you were my friend You pulled me in with the tips of your claws To play this game of pretend And I don't want to live in fear But it's the way, it's the way, it's the way If my word was valued like you said Then how did you get into my head I'm just child, no I'm not done Growing with the voices hiding in my ear drums You called me saying, "it's all your fault That I've got blood on my wrists, You don't look your age just don't tell no one, What I wish I could do to your lips" You took my love as a thing to exploit You asked me if I would still fuck you I shut down after I had cried And to think that I ever missed you And I don't want to live in fear But it's the way, it's the way, it's the way If my word was valued like you said Then how did you get into my head I'm just child, no I'm not done Growing with the voices hiding in my ear drums
9.
Storm Song 03:20
Every muscle aches Can't help but think it must be some kind of mistake I only love the rain when it's been too hot for days And I count the time as it goes passing by it's hard when it stays, hard when it's lasting And I can't predict it but I can sure feel it I'll keep on singing 'till my ribs come crashing I crack even more when it's storming I wake up spinning and sick every morning Bruises collect in my palms I write them all these song And I count the time as it goes passing by it's hard when it stays, hard when it's lasting And I can't predict it but I can sure feel it I'll keep on singing 'till my ribs come crashing
10.
Look around at what is needed Put aside your anger and give space Our spirits feel defeated So we burn our thyme and sage Bring us healing, bring us peace Understand the words you hear We ask for pain to be released For the smoke to finally clear Ask your neighbors, ask your friends Don't act like this is how it ends Put up your fists in their defense Because this can't be how it ends Bring us healing, bring us peace Understand the words we hear We ask for pain to be released For the smoke to finally clear Nothing is sacred and nothing is safe Among the people who live in this place But everything is sacred that's sacred to you Hold on to what you need to get through I promise that I believe in you I promise that I will honor you too

about

To pre-order our new self titled album, please contribute to our fundraising campaign at igg.me/at/porchcatlove

Funds go directly towards duplication fees, printing costs, and merch costs. Contributors will get the option to choose from all kinds of perks, from shirts, to patches, to a physical CD copy of the new album, to hats - there's even options to bundle what you want to get!

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released January 14, 2017

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Porch Cat Washington

Porch Cat is a DIY, queer, folk punk band from Washington, fronted by Chan B and accompanied by Emily Ayden. Chan's raw, honest lyrics and unique vocals define the bands sound, while their partner, Emily Ayden, brings thoughtful vocal harmonies along with a driving and melodic guitar to round it out. Porch Cat is a project that strives to connect with and empower marginalized people through music. ... more

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